Monday, July 30, 2007

The list below is the contents of my mom's 'silverware' drawer. I loosely call its contents silverware as this is the drawer in my mom's house where one has the highest probability of finding a piece of silverware that one might desire to use, for eating, or whatever. Many people use a tray to organize silverware. These conformist robots foolishly sort the silverware into seperate sections of the tray so that each time you reach for a desired piece, be it knife, or fork, or spoon, your hand easily finds the piece of silverware and withdraws it.

Now I ask you, where is the challenge in that? Isn't it more exciting to get a mild surprise when you want to get a fork or knife and instead withdraw a nearly-as-useful spoon?

Contents follow:

  • Assorted miscellaneous flatware
  • 2 packs Captain's Wafers: Cream Cheese and Chives Crackers
  • 1 wire wisk
  • 8 lids to sour cream, cottage cheese, yogurt containers
  • 3 pickle jar lids
  • 1 peanut butter jar lid, well cleaned
  • 1 can of Chicken of the Sea Pink Crab
  • 2 packets of soy sauce, Kimlan
  • several ounces of whole cashews, roasted, salted, and stale
  • spatula
  • shears
  • garlic press
  • 36" gold-colored chain
  • 1 pack Aqua drops breathmints
  • 12 pieces, individually wrapped, Nicorette gum
  • 1 pie knife
  • 3 packets containing one moist towlette per packet
  • 1 baking spatula
  • 1 set disposable chopsticks
  • 1 plastic grocery bag
  • 1 potato peeler
  • 1 corn holder
  • 1 package of seeds
  • 1 rubber band
  • paperclips
  • Roland kobe style mustard
  • several twisty ties
  • 1 fine tip artists paint brush, stained and battered
  • 1 charcoal pencil
  • 1 paring knife sharpener taped to a 3x5 piece of corrugated cardboard

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You leave me with the toothsome image of you reaching in the silverware drawer to eat your eggs at Nancy's...

and pulling out a paper clip, then a peanut butter cap lid. Given your usual easygoing self, I then see you shrugging your shoulders, handing Jill a paper-clip, and eating your eggs with the peanut butter lid, just as Jill shakes her head somberly and spends three minutes searching for a fork, eggs steadily growing colder.

Unknown said...

and you add, helpfully, "Honey, your eggs are getting cold."