I feel as if I were Bilbo Baggins after he wrote his famous prequel, 'There and Back Again.' We've returned from Oregon and my cousin Michael's wedding and the kids, Jill, and I are exhausted. Our flight from LAX to OHR was delayed and we arrived in Chicago about 9:30. Our bags got screwed up and we weren't able to collect them until about 10:45 PM. Finally we took the shuttle over to the hotel for the hotel parking and got on the road around 11:30 PM. We arrived in Madison about 2:10 AM and I was asleep at 2:15 AM CST. We woke up at the hotel in Bend, OR at 4 AM PST, which is quite early, but I was able to take a nap on the plane for about 30 minutes.



My cousin's wedding was a lot of fun and a great cermony. It's nice to see him settled down with a real beautiful woman who is so kind and friendly. It's also nice to see him married into a large family. My daughter got to be a flower girl at the wedding, which I think she may remember, even now, a few days later. Apparently, my daughter did some last minute negotiating with the bride and only agreed to fulfill her flower girl duties on the condition that she get to carry the bouquet after the wedding. When I found May carrying around the bouquet after the wedding, I was mortified. Because of the confidential nature of the bride-flowergirl negotiations, I thought she had swiped the Bridal Bouquet. Only later did Kelly, the bride, tell me the tale of the aisle-side negotiations. In a few weeks, I'll post a picture of my daughter in the flowergirl dress.



Ben was too crabby to see the wedding.

A few unusual events at the wedding deserve comments.

A woman attending the wedding had very large ears. She was a normal, attractive, young woman. She was dressed well and attended by a handsome companion (I believe they were unmarried). She was a tall brunette and at the reception and wedding had her hair pulled back behind her enourmous ears. I, myself being of the large auricular appendages, am sympathetic to the cause of the large ear-ed. Still, I thought, "Why not wear your hair down?" Her ears were large, protruding, and highly circular and symmetric. An attractive young woman with very large ears.

Secondly, at the reception, I was waiting in line for the bathroom when a middle-age/retirement-age woman came out of the bathroom. She looked me right in the eye and cackled hideously. I kept my silence and thought to myself, "What's so funny?" Upon entering the bathroom I smelled a very foul odor. The older woman had clearly taken a shit and stunk up the bathroom at the wedding reception. I try never to shit at a party, so she must have really had to go. Anyway, old ladies stinking up the bathroom with their foul bowels is noteworthy.