We watched the last episode of The Tudors on Jill's parent's On Demand digital cable. The show features King Henry the Eighth of England. He is, of course, a barbarian. Still, he has some qualities worth emulating. He is smooth with the ladies. He is well dressed. And, he has great abs. I've never had any of those qualities, but if I can dream of being the king of new jersey, I can also dream about having great abs.

I'm almost out of stories about my mom. One last story about her, though, and then onto the standard cute stories about my kids. When we were visiting my mom, I went for a run down by the lake. Naturally, I got quite sweaty. The sweaty shirt I wore for the run was in my sister's room (we always sleep in my sisters room when we visit my mom). The next day, my mom is parading around in my running shirt. It's flattering that she likes to wear my clothes, but when I realized she was wearing my running shirt, I asked her, "Isn't that shirt a little damp, mom?"

"Why, yes, it is a little damp."

"That's because I wore it while running yesterday. It was drenched with sweat and has dried out a little."

"Oh, I thought it was recently out of the wash."

Yuck.

May has recently been interested in watching "The Lorax." While we were camping up north, we even played a lorax-like game in which one stands on a tree stump and shouts. During the campout, she kept rolling onto me in the tent and finally I pinned her down with an arm so I could get some sleep. She eventually settled back to sleep, and quietly murmured, "I speak for the trees."

Ben took a bad tumble out of Jill's parents RV during the camping trip. Jill's dad was watching him, and went on watching him as he fell down the RV steps and bounced his head off of the metal landing in front of the steps. Ben had a small cut in the middle of a huge bump above his left eye. I was really angry and worried that he would have a concussion after a fall like that.

First I yelled, "Goddammit, Sandy!"

"He's so fast, I turned away for one second..."

I yelled at Jill's dad, "Sandy you were supposed to be watching him. 'Watching' means with your eyes! It's hard enough to go camping with a one year old! It's hard enough to have a family!"

A few seconds later I said, "I'm sorry. I was frightened."

Sandy is a good guy and didn't get sore about it. Ben was fine afterwards. Normal appetite, normal balance, normal sleep patters. I didn't bother taking him to the doctor.