Things that are difficult, but not impossible, to do with one hand

- use deodorant (both pits)
- floss teeth
- wash hands
- wash dishes (given that dishwasher is available for assistance)


Things that are absolutely impossible to do with only one hand

- tie (anything)
- open plastic wrapping on anything (unless scissors are used)
- take out trash

On Sat., after finishing shoveling my walk and that of the neighbors', I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist (Colle fracture). After breaking my wrist, I went to the ER and got a splint and some percocet. Then, I promptly updated my FB status. Unfortunately, I misspelled the type of wrist fracture I have. People in medicine thought I was an idiot, for those outside of the field, I'm sure there remains little doubt.

For those who notice irony, I'm in the process of re-scheduling my ER rotations...

I went to the Orthopod today and he had to "reduce" my fracture. A "reduction" is when you cram broken bones back together and take an xray afterwards to see if the bones are lined up any better. My orthopod and I were both pleased with the results of the reduction (which hurt slightly less than the original fracture) and the lines of flow in my current xray are much more parallel and straight. My fingers also move more freely, and, in general, I am in less pain after this horrifically painful intervention.

I was proud of myself for not screaming during the reduction. I was hoping that the orthopod and his assistant would be trembling in fear that I would leap off the table and eviscerate them after the procedure, but Jill, who witnessed, said I wasn't all that fearsome except that I went extremely pale and appeared to be likely to vomit.

I had a classic "East Coast" encounter with the receptionist. Mon. morning, early I called the orthopod office and left a message explaining the situation: slipped & fell, broken wrist, ER, yadda yadda yadda. Naturally, I was ignored - I mean - why would they return *my* call? So I went to the office to try to see someone.

The receptionist *freaked out*. "You can't just walk in here! You can't just see a doctor!" I was able to convince her to allow me to make an appointment to see a doctor, but just barely, "If there were anyone else in the waiting room, I would not be allowed to schedule an appointment for you! Because of the privacy laws! This should all be handled over the telephone!" (total BS, by the way. Restricting patients from making appointments is the most ridiculous and utterly heinous mis-interpretation of HIPPA I have ever seen - AND I HAVE SEEN MANY!) Finally, this crazy lady, after noticing my splint, made me an appointment and had to reluctantly admit, "The doctor may see you today when he gets out of surgery. He does have a few slots for emergencies."

After my reduction today, I was told to make a followup for xrays in one week. I stood in front of this crazy lady's desk for a minute or two while she sighed like George Castanza and shuffled medical records back and forth. Finally I worked up my courage and said, "Can I make my follow-up appointment now, or do I have to leave the office and call you?"

It's the heart of the tax season which means Jill is working a lot and I am going to bed early and working on my blog. I fed the kids macaroni and cheese tonight - which they love. I gave them green peas for their vegetable. Ben ate two peas, which is not enough for him to get desert, but certainly enough for him to gag theatrically upon.

May told him, "You should eat your peas - anything is good as long as it has butter and salt on it!"

Ben has a new bad habit which is, even by my relatively lax standards, utterly revolting. He takes the toilet plunger and runs around the house sticking it to walls and using it to pick things up.

I told him, "Don't play with that! It's only for unclogging the toilet."

He replies, "But I want to clog the toilet!"

"You'll have to wait until you're a little bit older."

This month, I will be studying in the emergency room of Albert Einstein hospital in north Philly. I started off the month well, by showing up for a series of lectures that was cancelled. I will instead use this time to update you on the business of my children.

The big news: I have no news about my residency to report. For those of you who follow me on facebook, I will report promptly on Mar. 18th the results of the match. I interviewed at 7 places in the midwest and 2 in Philly. We'll see...

I just came of a month of GI medicine, which was fun. The fellow I was 'working' with was so nice to me, and was constantly apologizing for the hideous hours we were working. Finally I had to tell her at the end of the month, "I feel about this rotation the same way I feel about medical school: I had to wake up early and read a lot, but I learned a lot. If I had to do it all over again, I probably would." When conveying my feelings to another student, Colin, we agreed that if I had to do four more years of med school right now, we would probably not do that, but if able to travel back in time to four years ago, and pressed to make the decision to matriculate again, I probably would.

May is doing well in school and is learning a lot about penguins and math. She did something very naughty last weekend and walked all the way to the library by herself. The library is about four blocks away and she had to cross several streets to get there. Nothing happened to her and she is safe and well, but it was an important lesson to us both. Because she's a smart kid, she can do more than the average six year old, but doesn't understand the danger involved in the world; intellegent but not wise.

When I was on GI, I scored a cigar from one of my attendings. His friend, the radiologist, gave it to him after reading some CT's for us. I was given the cigar because I promised to smoke it on match day. Ben was jumping around in the kitchen the other day and saw the cigar in the freezer. He said, "Dad, what's that?" as he jumped and tried to grab it from it's resting place beside the orange juice concentrate.

"That's a disgusting habit." I told him.

Ben also asked me the other day, "What's inside of you that makes you hard?"

"Bones are the hardest part of your insides." I replied.

"I have bones in my arms, legs, and tummy." He told me.